


Ripening

by inlovewithnight



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Asexual Spectrum, F/F, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, au from end of movie, references to trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 22:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10976505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithnight/pseuds/inlovewithnight
Summary: There was no reason for Mantis to go with her. Staying with the others made much more sense; it would be logical, it would be safer.Mantis went with her anyway.





	Ripening

After they escaped Ego’s planet, when the main crew were circled around Quill to comfort him, Mantis drifted about the ship like a ghost. She hadn’t known Yondu, except through Quill’s grief, which was a heavy enough cloud around him that she could sense it without touch. It felt bad, sour, so she stayed away, wandering the ship in a search for somewhere to be still.

She met Nebula making a similar circuit, slinking along in silence, touching this and that as she went. From watching her before, Mantis assumed she was looking for what could be used as a weapon, should she need it. It seemed like a practical approach.

Mantis had never needed a weapon—or at least, she’d never been allowed to know if she needed one or not.

Nebula turned to face her and Mantis went still, allowing herself to be studied. She was used to the feeling; Ego had showed her off many times on one world or another. Few had made her feel like their gaze was stripping her down to the bone the way Nebula did.

Nebula took a step closer, cocking her head to the side. Mantis met her eyes, waiting. She had never been struck in anger. Perhaps it would be interesting.

Nothing happened. After a moment, Nebula exhaled a soft breath and took a step back, lifting her chin.

“Your eyes look like mine,” she said, then turned and walked away. 

**

Mantis touched Nebula’s hand twice before Yondu’s funeral. She knew Nebula allowed it to happen; if she didn’t wish to be touched, Mantis would have pulled back a bleeding stump instead of a hand. She was thankful for the courtesy.

And Nebula was—Mantis didn’t have words for Nebula’s fingers. Anger, and sadness, those were the concepts, but there was no way to convey the depth of them, or the _purity_. Nebula’s heart held depths of fury and pain that Mantis could lose herself in forever, easily, if she was allowed to touch for more than a second. 

As it was, she got a brief sip, a sudden shock, and then Nebula pulled away. 

**

There was no reason for Mantis to go with her. Staying with the others made much more sense; it would be logical, it would be safer. They were going to be hired to do good, on some sort of sliding scale of good. Nebula was going to murder a monster. There wasn’t even the dubious safety of numbers.

Mantis went with her anyway. 

Was she chasing another chance to touch, to taste those pure emotions again? She couldn’t be sure; Nebula might not let Mantis touch her again at all. Nebula might get tired of her and put her out an airlock. Nebula was unpredictable.

Ego had also been unpredictable, and filled with emotions that Mantis couldn’t understand. And the two of them had been alone together for a long time.

So there was no reason for her to go with Nebula, but maybe it was inevitable that she did it anyway.

**

Time wasn’t a matter of concern to Ego, so it was not something Mantis was used to thinking about much. She didn’t know how long she and Nebula wandered, while Nebula searched for Thanos and took odd jobs to keep them in food and fuel. Mantis wanted to contribute in some way, to help, but she didn’t know anything about flying or fighting or repairing a ship.

“Can you read?” Nebula asked, when Mantis had asked to help enough times that it must have annoyed her. “Can you use a terminal?”

“Yes, of course.” Mantis clasped her hands in front of her and tried to project as much eagerness and hope as she felt. “Ego showed me so I could keep myself busy while he was concentrating on his great work.”

“Murdering his offspring and plotting mass genocide.” Nebula cocked her head and stared at Mantis for a moment. “Great indeed.”

“I am still learning to reframe my thinking.” Mantis clenched her hands tighter and sketched a painful bow. “Forgive me.”

“Stop that. You don’t need my forgiveness.” Nebula turned to a terminal in one wall and tapped at the screen. “Here. Use this. You can do research.”

“On what?”

Nebula looked at her again, eyes narrowing slightly. “Whatever I tell you to.” She hesitates for a moment. “And whatever you want, when I don’t need anything from you.”

“I don’t know where to begin!”

“Why not with where you came from? The planet Ego took you away from. Your people.”

Mantis’ own sorrow was never pure, like Nebula’s. It was always mixed with confusion, and doubt. “No, I don’t… I don’t think I want to do that.”

Nebula was silent for a moment, and Mantis breathed deeply, hoping she hadn’t offended her. “Music, maybe,” Nebula said finally. “See if you can find something like those songs Star Lord played, but… louder. With more energy.”

Relief made Mantis dizzy. She answered too eagerly, too loudly, in the way that always made Nebula flinch back from her. “I won’t fail you!”

Nebula did flinch, but her mouth twisted, too, almost in the direction of a smile. Mantis wished she could touch her and be sure where Nebula stood between annoyed and pleased. It would help so much to know.

**

Mantis quickly felt skilled at researching, and Nebula didn’t seem displeased. They fell into something like a life, traveling across the galaxy doing their work and hunting for Thanos when the work allowed. Nebula would have said it was the other way around, but Mantis thought, perhaps, she had a more clear view of the situation, just as she’d had with Ego.

She didn’t say so, of course. There was no reason to make Nebula unhappy.

One ship’s night, when the autopilot was on and all biological systems were expected to be resting, Nebula came to Mantis’ bunk and stared at her unblinking for a long moment, her cybernetic and biological hands twisting at her side, fingers sliding roughly over palms.

“Yes?” Mantis said finally. “What is it?”

“With Ego,” Nebula said haltingly. “You… I remember you, inside the planet, you put him to sleep.”

“Yes. That was my duty to him, to help him sleep.”

Nebula nodded, clenching her hands into fists. The cybernetic one squealed alarmingly, like the metal of her fingers might punch right through the palm.

“Could you do that for me?” Nebula blurted finally. “Maybe? I…I would very much like to sleep. But I can’t. I almost never can. Maybe there’s not enough of me left that’s human.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Mantis said, sitting up and turning to face her. “You feel well over fifty percent human, to me.”

Nebula’s mouth twisted again, no closer to a true smile than before, but Mantis felt much more certain that it could be one, someday. “Let’s try, then. See if you can help me sleep.”

Mantis followed her back to her bunk, and pressed her hand to Nebula’s forehead. The sadness and anger were still pure and deep before she pushed them down into sleep, but there was a thread of something lighter running through them, something she didn’t want to put a name to yet.

**

They crossed paths with the Guardians again, not in conflict but simply arriving at the station in orbit around Denara 10 at the same time. It was pleasant to see them again; Drax and Peter both embraced Mantis in kind ways, while Gamora offered a handshake without a hidden weapon, and Rocket said nothing sarcastic or rude.

Groot had grown to a full sapling, and his emotions were quite turbulent under the surface of his bark, but he greeted her with a polite “I AM GROOT” before retreating to his room.

Their greetings to Nebula were far more restrained. Mantis tried not to pay attention too openly; neither Nebula nor Gamora would like that very much. She wanted to touch them both, though, to know how they really felt about each other, if things were better now than they used to be.

Neither of them would allow that, though, so she stayed away until Nebula left to buy the parts for the ship that were their reason for stopping at Denara. Mantis moved to follow her, but Gamora’s voice caught her mid-step. “Mantis.”

“Yes?” Mantis turned to face her, drawing herself up to her full height and trying to look as strong and bold as all of the others seemed to, all the time.

“Nebula,” Gamora said softly. “Is she… is she well?”

Mantis blinked, tilting her head as she considered the question. What did _well_ mean, where Nebula was concerned? It was a strange idea, one that could blur and change at any time.

Still, there was one way she could answer honestly. “She is in less pain than she was. There is a little bit more calm in her.”

Gamora’s shoulders dipped in relief. “Oh. That’s… that’s good. Thank you.”

“I will stay with her,” Mantis offered, guessing that that might be the question remaining in Gamora’s eyes. “For as long as she will let me.”

“It can’t be an easy life.”

“Easy? No.” Mantis frowned, searching for words, wishing again that she could touch Gamora’s hand and simply pass her feelings along without them. “But I want to stay. I think I’m beginning to understand, now.”

**

They stayed at the station for two standard cycles, then resumed their travels. On the second ship’s sleep cycle, Nebula came to Mantis’ bunk again.

“Are you familiar with sexual pleasure?” she asked, standing at stiff attention a few steps out of arm’s reach. 

Mantis frowned, considering. “I sometimes felt it from Ego when I soothed him back to sleep.”

“That sounds like a rather disgusting encounter.”

“I’m afraid I have nothing to compare it to. I felt Star Lord’s romantic love for Gamora, but that is something different, I think.”

“Very.” Nebula stood still for a moment. “I offer to provide you with sexual pleasure. If you want.”

“Oh!” Mantis flopped back against her pillow in surprise. “That’s so kind of you!”

“You want it, then?”

“Yes, please! I would love to have a new experience.”

Nebula sat on the edge of the bed and looked her up and down. “First you have to undress.”

Mantis quickly wiggled out of her nightshirt and lay back, looking at Nebula expectantly. “Is there a particular position I should hold?”

“This is fine.” Nebula’s brow furrowed. “My research on your species indicates that the pleasure centers are distributed differently than mine. But there was an illustration. Tell me if I’m missing anything important.”

“I don’t know how it works!”

“You’ll be able to tell once I start.” Nebula moved to kneel between Mantis’ feet and guide her knees apart. “Or at least that’s how it usually seems to go.”

Mantis blinked at her. “Have you done this often?” It would be a relief to be in the hands of someone experienced.

“Often enough.” Nebula’s mouth quirked at one corner. “Some people place a completely disproportionate value on sexual pleasure. You would be amazed.”

“I’m sure I will be,” Mantis said with all the sincerity in her heart, and Nebula very nearly smiled before she moved closer and began touching Mantis’ skin with light fingertips and a careful mouth.

The experience was very pleasant—especially when Nebula flicked her tongue across sensitive skin and coaxed it to a full nervous response. The increased blood flow to the stimulated area caused a warm, swollen feeling there as well as a pleasantly lightheaded reaction overall. By stimulating several of the pleasure centers in sequence and then simultaneously, Nebula was able to bring about a rush of muscle contractions and endorphin release that ended with Mantis spent, her muscles lax and her mind disinclined to gather them again.

When she had caught her breath enough to lift her head and open her eyes, she found Nebula sitting beside her, that near-smile from before fully present on her mouth.

“That was good for you,” she said.

“It was very pleasant!” Mantis picked up her nightgown and wiped the sweat from her face. “Do you have a diagram of your physiology, so I can return the favor for you?” 

Nebula’s smile faded. “Those parts of me were rendered inert a long time ago.”

“Oh! How unfortunate.”

“It’s all right. It’s not something of particular interest to me except as a theory, anyway.” She leaned back against the wall of the bunk, her eyes going unfocused in the way that meant her sorrow and anger were rising again. “Of course, who knows if that’s how I felt before Thanos took me apart. He might have taken those feelings away from me, too. I don’t know.”

Mantis reached for her with caution, careful to place her hand on Nebula’s cybernetic arm instead of her flesh, in case she was not welcome in these emotions at this moment. She had learned so much, traveling with Nebula; her earlier carelessness in stealing touches and tastes of feeling appalled her now. “I’m sorry that things were taken. I think you, as you are, are very wonderful, though.”

Nebula stared at her, eyes coming back into focus, mouth falling open a bit. “You think… I? Am wonderful?”

“I do.” Mantis nodded and patted her arm softly. “Truly.”

Nebula looked away, blinking rapidly. “I… I should go back to the bridge. Make sure we’re still on course.”

That was the autopilot’s job, during the sleep cycle. Mantis didn’t try to stop her, though. She let her go, then wrapped herself up in her blanket and lay awake for a while, her mind wandering in a maze of amazing things—what Nebula had done to her body, and the deftness of her mouth and hands, and the look on her face when she echoed Mantis’ words back to her.

**

They didn’t discuss it, but a few nights later, Nebula came to her bunk again. She stood just out of reach and cleared her throat, staring at a point on the wall just past Mantis’ head.

“Would you like me to pleasure you again?”

Mantis looked closely at Nebula’s face, trying to find the hidden expressions behind the set of her jaw and cold of her eyes. “Would _you_ like it?”

Nebula’s shoulders tensed. “It was… not unpleasant. Seeing you respond.”

“It was not unpleasant for me, either,” Mantis said. “Very much the opposite!”

“I know.” Nebula looked at her properly. “You told me that.”

Mantis moved over in the bunk, toward the wall. “Then, if you want to, yes. I have done some research of my own.”

Nebula didn’t move. “You won’t find specifics of my physiology in any database. Thanos’ modifications make it useless.”

“I know. And you said you didn’t want to do that, anyway.” Mantis lay her hand on the mattress, fingers splayed, showing it was empty. “I did research on kissing.”

Nebula’s eyes widened. “Kissing?”

“Yes!”

“Oral or elsewhere?”

“Oral kissing!” Mantis sat up, withdrawing her hand. “You didn’t want me to touch your body, but you let your mouth touch me, I thought maybe that kissing like that wouldn’t be so uncomfortable for you?”

“I had not considered it.” Nebula tilted her head for a moment, then slowly moved closer and sat down on the edge of the bunk. “Well. If you would like to try.”

Mantis’ research had not been very deep. Mostly she had looked at pictures and watched videos of couples of various species kissing. After a while it had occurred to her to limit the search to the essential physiological type that she and Nebula shared, which led to more helpful imagery, if cutting out a great deal of fascinating beauty.

Kissing Nebula was fascinating enough on its own, though. Her mouth seemed to still be her own, without modifications or cybernetics. Her lips parted slowly to let Mantis slip her tongue inside and find Nebula’s own tongue, warm and softly textured. Mantis continued to kiss her for the average length of time contained in the videos, then pulled back.

“Is it pleasant for you?” she asked. “I find it very much so, personally.”

Nebula nodded slowly, her eyes wide. From the corner of her eye, Mantis saw that her biological hand was shaking. Mantis reached for it, carefully taking Nebula’s fingers in hers, and fell into the shocked, trembling emotions of Nebula’s mind.

There was pleasure, yes, and something that wasn’t _quite_ happiness, but held the potential for it. There were threads of hope, thick ribbons of uncertainty, early shivering seeds of trust.

“Oh,” Mantis breathed, and let Nebula pull her hand away.

They sat in silence for a long moment before Nebula spoke. “That was pleasant. I… yes.”

“Do you need to go check the bridge again?” Mantis asked.

Nebula shook her head. “Could we… perhaps…” She took a breath. “May I rest here, with you, for a while?”

“Yes, of course.” Mantis lay back against the pillows again, leaving room for Nebula beside her. “Be comfortable.”

Nebula didn’t move, though. “May I… this is embarrassing.”

“I will not judge you.” Mantis placed her hand over her heart. “I promise.”

Nebula lifted her chin. “May I lay my head on your chest? In a way that you could touch me. If you wanted to.”

Mantis couldn’t quite envision what she meant, but she wanted to. “Of course. Arrange yourself as you would like.”

Nebula settled on her back beside Mantis and held still for a moment, then turned sharply onto her side. Her face pressed against Mantis’ arm, just quickly, before she moved closer, pinning the arm down with her shoulder and placing her chin heavily on Mantis’ chest.

Before Mantis could voice the discomfort of that sharp protrusion against soft flesh, Nebula made another abrupt movement, turning her head so her cheek lay against Mantis, and her arm snaked over Mantis’ waist, resting across her body.

“Oh,” Mantis said softly. “That’s what you meant.”

“Is it all right? If I do this?”

“Yes! It’s…” She searched for the right words, but could only find simple ones. “It’s very pleasant.”

Nebula’s voice was so soft, Mantis could hardly hear it. “Good.”

They lay in silence for a long time, while the ship cut its way through space toward another planet where Thanos might be waiting. Maybe not; maybe there would only be another clue to redirect them off into space again. Or maybe there would be nothing, and they would start hunting the trail all over again. There was no way to know until they arrived.

Mantis watched Nebula’s head rise and fall with her breath. If she had stayed with the others, maybe she still would have felt like this; like she had a purpose, like she belonged. And she hoped that they would cross paths with the Guardians again. She wanted to feel Peter’s brightness again, Gamora’s fierceness, Drax’s unbounded joy and pain. She wanted to share their strange jokes and hear the special music that Peter carried close to his heart.

But she didn’t want this to stop, not for anything. Finding her way with Nebula was where she belonged, for now, maybe forever.


End file.
